Privacy Policy

Oh, hi reader.

We humbly dedicate this page to the GDPR. Fuck you, even though you’re a necessity.

This privacy notice discloses the privacy practices for scotchandcookies.com. This privacy notice applies solely to information collected by this website. It will notify you of the following:

  • What personally identifiable information is collected from you through the website, how it is used and with whom it may be shared.
  • What choices are available to you regarding the use of your data.
  • How you can correct any inaccuracies in the information.

Information Collection, Use, and Sharing

We are the sole owners of the information collected on this site. We only have access to/collect information that you voluntarily give us via email or other direct contact from you. We will not sell or rent this information to anyone. You can trust us to keep the nudies you send us to ourselves.

We will use your information to respond to you, albeit in a fashion that can be interpreted as obnoxious, rude, sarcastic or otherwise displeasing. We will only do so regarding the reason you contacted us (good luck in trying to do so, by the way). We will not share your information with any third party outside of our organization, other than as necessary to fulfill your request. Again, the nudies are in responsible hands.

Also, we will not contact you. Ever. Not even if you think one of our stories stinks. Yet in case of the latter, be prepared to eat dust in the follow-up. You have been warned.

See what data we have about you, if any

We have none. We do not earn a single penny with our writing, and are solely doing this for the fun of it and/or to kick public figures in the butthole. If we don’t like them, that is.

Cookies*

We use “cookies” on this site. A cookie is a piece of data stored on a site visitor’s hard drive to help us improve your access to our site and identify repeat visitors to our site. For instance, when we use a cookie to identify you, you would not have to log in a password more than once, thereby saving time while on our site. But you, as a reader, are not required to have a password. So that makes this section of information rather useless to you. Don’t feel like an idiot for reading it, we’re starting to feel like idiots for even adding this page. Cookies can also enable us to track and target the interests of our users to enhance the experience on our site. Usage of a cookie is in no way linked to any personally identifiable information on our site. Unless you like cookies. Though in that case, you should consider it a unfortunate coincidence. We’re not about to steal and/or mock your cookies. Honestly.

If you feel that we are not abiding by this privacy policy, you should contact us immediately by opening the nearest window, shouting our names towards the night sky and clicking your heels together three times. Let us know what happens, we’re dying to find out.

 

* We’re obviously talking about the text files, not about John Dutch. Quote: “There’s enough Cookie for everyone”.