The Primitive Intellect

What does it mean? Or better said, what can it do? Well, I checked this on Google and this is what Google tells us about it:

“the primitive intellect, which has only a potential existence, is called also the material intellect, because, like matter, it is capable by development of transformation and of assuming a distinctive form. In fact, this faculty passes from a potentiality into an actuality, and commences to have an effective existence when, by study and reflection, it acquires ideas, with which it identifies itself; for the act of thinking can not be separated from the object of the thought. This new intellect, which is, accordingly, the primitive intellect recast by experience, is called the acquired intellect”

Let’s kick off with my review. This one will be about Uwe boll’s new movie Far Cry. To understand the complex mind of Uwe Boll, we need to go back to 2003 when Boll directed his first videogame adaption ‘House of the Dead’. This was a mediocre attempt of bringing a videogame to life. It was not bad, but it wasn’t good, either. Then in the year 2005 he tried to transfer the quite good videogame ‘Alone in the Dark’ to film. This was the first time people were thinking, “the man lost his mind”. That movie had no plot, acting nor good special effects. I went to see it in the nearest theatre and let me tell you, the movie deserves a better title. ‘Alone in the theatre’ came to mind.

Let’s continue our journey. The year is 2005 and Bloodrayne finally saw the light of day. Well, it should have been left alone in the dark in a corner crying about itself. iI was so bad, if it could watch itself it would commit suicide. Okay, Kristinna Loken was ****** hot; she alone was worth the ticket price. But then again, you had better rent a porno instead, its cheaper.

In 2007, Uwe brought us ‘Seed’, a movie about a murderer who has been sentenced to death row and comes back from the grave to seek vengeance on those who put him there. Well, it’s fairly unoriginal but interesting. The result is something far different then expected. Of course we want to see people take vengeance. But please, I dislike animal cruelty and letting a baby starve to death… I felt he need to put Uwe on death row just for filming this sick shit. The need to make him ask for forgiveness for all the people who paid to see this useless piece of celluloid.

After this debacle he went on bringing us films like Bloodrayne 2, Alone in the dark 2, Postal, Dungeon siege and finally, Far cry. Let’s talk about Far Cry. You need to understand that, after watching so many worthless movies, it’s hard for me to keep up the good mood. I cleared my brain, put in the DVD and sat down with a glass of Famous Grouse whisky (on the rocks). I was ready… Or so I thought. It turned out to be worse then I could ever imagine. “Why” was the only word I could come up with after the credits started rolling. But after a good evaluation I can finally understand “why”. It had something to do with his mind; he must have lost it somewhere. Uwe is a person who cannot potentially exist, because everybody wants him to disappear. He is not a person who can deliver the goods and he is surely not the person who learns by experience. His career is a fine example of that. He doesn’t have and will never have the primitive intellect.

So, for those who feel alone in their quest against the rape of good celluloid, for those who feel that they haven’t been taken seriously about the matter of Uwe Boll: if you feel you need to do something about it, then I can tell you:

“We’ve been fighting a long time.
We are out numbered
Working around the clock, without quitting.
Uwe has a strength that cannot be measured.
This is Felix Brice
If you are listening to this,
you are the resistance”

Let’s finish this by saying: “If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain’t the kinda pussy to drink it”. A definite ‘Please god, burn the negatives’.