Sin

Friday morning. It’s quiet at work. I close the door of my office. Sweating, hands shaking I turn around. As I gaze at you, sorrow seeps through me. I know I should hate myself for doing this so many times.

Within five steps I’m at my desk, gently putting you on it. As I look at you lying there, I cannot stop thinking how small you really are. Thoughts race through my head. “I should not do this at work. This is wrong. But if this wrong, then why does it feel so good?”  My heart starts beating faster and faster. I grab you in my hand and whisper “Soon it will all be over.”

Suddenly the door slams open. I spin around and see Jennifer standing there. I see her looking at me with a faint smile, before here eyes stare at the desk and widen. “JOHN!” She shouts. As frozen I see her storm towards me. “John!”. Everything becomes a blur as pain flashes through my head. I grunt and close my eyes. Blinking I look over my shoulder to see Jennifer standing there, laptop in her hands laughing at me.

Looking at the desk I see the plastic cub on its side. The coffee that was inside, now slowly making its way towards my mouse and keyboard. Sighting, I open my right hand and put you back on the desk. Out of reach from the ever growing pool of coffee.

“I am gonna need more then one painkiller now, if I want to make it through the day.” I mumble.